Wishful thinking and Insomnia

Here I sit, after midnight on a Tuesday night. I have done nothing today that would make me overly tired, yet I've done enough to make me tired enough to go to bed, or so you would think. I like being pregnant....most of the time. I think it's amazing. But there are some aspects that drive me crazy. And I'm sure it doesn't just bother me. My poor husband is undoubtedly tired of me telling him that I'm too warm to cuddle, or that I want some space that night, or that I don't want to eat that, and I don't want to clean this, that I'm tired of constant contractions, my list could go on and on and I'm sure that his is much longer than mine.
I guess you could say that I'm ready to get myself back. I am at my 35 weeks mark this week. My Dr. said that after next week, I can go whenever I want. I wish it were that easy, but it's not going to keep me from putting my good vibes out there. Next week, or even the week after would be great to me. This way, we bypass the anniversary, the little one's birthday, and just a busy week in general. I don't have anything next week. Or the week after. I won't lie, part of me desperately wishes that at my appointment next week, the doc says, "You're ready to go. I'll meet you at the hospital!" But what are the chances? But, I can dream.
I am so excited to meet this new little one. So scary, but at the same time, such a wonderful experience. I can't wait to see what color her hair and eyes are, how big or little she is. Good gravy, I'm anxious to make sure it's a girl! They could only tell me that they didn't think they could see any boy parts. They also couldn't see her face at all, so my fears of a cleft are still there, but we will love her just the same if she has one. I can't wait to hold her and feel somewhat normal again, or at least as normal as you can feel after this kind of thing.
My house is dejunked. Her clothes are washed and in the drawers. I have diapers and wipes ready and waiting. And I'm going to go pack a hospital bag. I. am. ready. In the mean time, I will look at the pictures of the big sister.